I think almost every time I blog it's me saying pretty much the same thing.  Oh well, here it goes again.

I have a very VERY selfish and sinful heart.  For realz.  It causes me plenty of issues but what breaks me is how I let my sin-filled heart hurt others.  

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, there's one situation with someone that I've continued to feel very burdened by, mostly because I don't really know how I've affected that person and I'm not in a place where I can try and make it right, but after a sermon tonight at Midtown Church what was said brought me to tears.  They read from 2 Corinthians 5 about how we have been reconciled and now we are called to reconcile others.  To be the ambassadors for Christ.  Within a 5 mile radius of the state capitol there are 100,000 unsaved people and chances are I come into contact with many of these people on a daily basis. What opportunities have I missed because I'm too busy focused on stupid unimportant details of my life instead of fixing my eyes on Christ and letting Him use me to reach others?

It is heart breaking.  And all I can do is starting right now become much much more intentional in my interactions.

I love this quote... I'm sure I've shared it on here before.  Probably multiple times.

"Do you know that NOTHING you do in this life will ever matter unless it is about loving God and loving the people he has made?"
-Francis Chan

Word.  That is just earth shattering.  Nothing at all.  What if I lived that?  What if moment by moment the overwhelming thought in my mind was how is what I'm about to say or do or think going to glorify God?

I've got some ideas on how I'm going to get better at this.  One includes tattooing the reminder on my arm (haha, except I'm serious).  First and foremost I have to be spending time with Him daily, reading the word and learning who He is because that's the driving force.  I need to know Him and understand better his love for me, because if I truly grasped it nothing else is going to even come close to comparing with Him.  There are people I love that I haven't talked to in over a year.  That's terrible.  I've already made a list of people I need to get in touch with, see how life is treating them and what I can be doing to encourage and pray for them.  And then there's the people I come into contact with day after day.  Some regularly like the people I work with, some I may only meet for a brief time and I'll never see them again.  Each second I'm given is crucial.  I'll screw it up a lot, yes, but how much will Christ be able to use me when I'm letting him?? I want me to become less and less and Him to become more.