So I wrote this blog over a year ago and never posted it for whatever reason, but I just came across it again and thought I would. 

"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed... He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." Romans 4:18,20-21

God's promise to Abraham- I'm gonna make you into a great nation. Go outside and count the stars. That's how many offspring will come from you. You will be the father of many nations.

Abraham was 75 when God first told him to get up and leave and go to a certain land- bc he was going to make him into a great nation. It wasn't until Abraham was 100 (and Sarah was 90) that she finally bore him a child. For 25 years they waited. Each birthday that passed, Hey God? I'm not getting any younger. We should probably get started on all those offspring...

It's almost nice to see moments of weakness in these men and women of extreme faith because we realize that they're like us. Then they do incredible things that make us feel insignificant, but still we do see moments of weakness. So Abraham may have messed up a few times. Taken matters into his own hands. God said he was going to give him offspring, but He didn't say from who- right? So 10 years later, here's an idea- I'll sleep with my servant and she can give me the offspring God was talking about. I feel like there had to be something deep within screaming TERRIBLE PLAN! ABORT! ABORT! Probably not OK... but it happened anyway. With significant consequences.

And then at the age of 99... God appeared to him again. He told Abraham he would give him a son through Sarah, within the year. First he laughed at God (probably also not the best idea)... But then Abraham believed. Against all hope. What seemed impossible was actually impossible. Women who are 90 aren't making babies. I just looked up the oldest women ever known to give birth, she was 66. By IVF. Which was not around in the time of Genesis.

I know I constantly put God in a box, not having a strong enough faith to believe his promises. Let this be my prayer! To believe the promises of God even when all hope seems lost! To be strong, steady, unwavering in my faith! Not only just holding on for dear life, but continuously being strengthened by the hoping and waiting in Him. Always giving glory. Fully persuaded that he's gonna do exactly what he said he would. Because He's THAT good.

What does he promise?

Phil 1:6- he began a good work in you will take it to completion

Psalm 34:18- he is close to the brokenhearted

Isaiah 40:29- he gives strength to the weary

Isaiah 54:10- his love and peace is never going anywhere
Jeremiah 11:29- his plans are to give you hope and a future
Matthew 11:28- he will give you rest when you are weary and burdened.
Phil 4:19- he will supply ALL your needs
Romans 8:37-39- nothing can separate us from Him
Psalm 139:7-10- he is everywhere.
1 Corinthians 10:13- you will never be tempted beyond your ability
Matthew 19:26- with Him all things are possible
1 Corinthians 2:9- nobody has ever seen or heard the things that God has for those he loves
John 3:16- whoever believes in him while live with him forever
Deut 33:27- he will destroy your enemies


And that is just a tiny sampling :)

kisses from katie

So this is the 2nd time I've blogged in 2013.  Already tying my number of entries for 2012, I am on a ROLL.  Currently very much enjoying my vacation, I have been keeping the delicate balance between resting up and catching up with almost everyone I love in Mobile.  It's been awesome.

Part of my resting time has included reading the book Kisses from Katie.  If you haven't heard of it, it is written by a girl that basically quit her life in the States and moves to Uganda at the age of 18.  She is incredible.  I want to be her.  Her love for Jesus is wonderful,  and I long for the faith and trust and complete surrender she has to Him.

It's amazing how much this book pumps me up and severely convicts me at the same time.  Just yesterday I bought myself a sweater.  It was only about $25, but that would be more than the money needed to send a child to school for 3 months in Uganda.  I spent $177.65 on going out food in December.  I will spend about $1200 on cable and internet over the course of the year.   Kind of makes me nauseous to think about.  I don't even consider the fact that it is a major blessing to have things like a warm and comfortable bed, access to water, health care, a car, a job, lamps, refrigerators, shampoo, nail clippers, shoes, blankets, cd players, advil,  etc, etc, etc.  I mean, when's the last time I thanked God for fingernail clippers?? They are quite handy.   It makes my heart hurt to think of things I complain about... the 4G network on my new iphone 5 is too slowww... all the free food at work in the cafeteria just doesn't look appealing... there's no good songs on the radio... It's actually so ridiculous it's funny.

In Rwanda I was not really bothered by the mosquito nets, or the lack of chickfila, or the sometimes cold showers, but reading some of the things Katie dealt with, like a giant rat that lived in her bathroom or lizards crawling around her as she slept, my immediate thought is, OK GOD, that's too much! But she repeatedly says that it's not by her doing but with God's strength that she does what she does.  And that apart from all the material blessings we have here in the US that we can depend on, you have no choice but to wholeheartedly depend on Christ to get you through a day. And she loves every minute of it because being in God's will is far greater than anything this world has to offer.   So who are the blessed ones?? 

What am I doing? I may not be in Uganda, but I am in Columbia, SC and that is just as much a mission field as Africa.  Maybe the majority of children aren't starving, but many are living in neighborhoods with gangs, or households where they are physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, or maybe just aren't loved the way that I was growing up.  And I've been given the sweet opportunity to invest in these children and their families and I've got to make that time count.  I need to be much more purposeful with my time, that I'm not just part of a team that's meeting physical needs, but these families need Jesus too! I have a chance to be Jesus to them.  And I need to become a better steward with my time and money. Not that I have a lot of either to spare, but I have more than plenty.  I have you as my witness, for the next month I'm not going to eat out.  I have a cafeteria at work where I can get meals during the day, and I have a freezer full of food at home that I can eat out of.  Then at the end of the month, that $177 can go towards something much better than giving more work for my scale at home.

Read this book!  It will convict but encourage a ton.  It's amazing to see what a difference Christ can make through one person.  And what a great example to inspire us to do what we were made to do: love God and love people.  Also here's her blog, and also a link to the blog of one of my friends from Auburn who is basically Katie without a book :) She packed up her life in Auburn to go live for Jesus in Guatemala.  She's at the start of her journey but it's awesome to see the effects she's already made down there!

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

http://manosheridas.blogspot.com/

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

Acts 1:8

his timing

As I enter into a new year (2013, what??), I'm so thankful for the life God has given me.  I have a family that loves me so much, amazing friends that are now scattered across the country, a wonderful job, a lovely home, etc, etc.  A few nights ago I was reading old online journals of mine with a friend and they were hysterical.  Pretty amazing to see how different a person I am now then I was when I was 15 (thank you Jesus).  But they also made me kind of sad, because a certain theme seemed to continue to recur, and that was the fact that I was single and I wasn't happy about it.  And I have to say that 10 years later I still find myself not content in my singleness.  Over the years it has brought bitterness and resentment and many a time the devil has used it as a foothold to bring me down.  If you know me, you know I joke about me being single a lot.  And about how I'm going to become a crazy cat lady in a few years.

This is so me.

My future cat lady car.

And I'll totally be buying this.

And I am kidding when I say these things, but maybe I believe it a little bit too.  For someone who is VERY impatient, it's pretty wonderful how much patience God has had with me.  He repeatedly shows me how much he loves me in big ways, and I continue to doubt that He knows what he is doing.  May be subconsciously, because by my thoughts I am screaming that I know better and it's time I took things into my own hands.  But I really have been shown this past year that God knows much better than I do.  I may think I know what I want and I may think that's what is best for me, but I have no idea.  And for whatever reason, the circumstances of my life are exactly as they should be right now.  And I look forward to the day when I can look back and say I totally get it now, I understand why you've left me waiting.  And it's gonna be real good.  Until then, I am going to start seeing my singleness as a blessing.  This is my time to be selfish, I have no one else depending on me :) I can focus on learning so I can become the best doctor I can be, I can focus on my relationship with Christ, I can focus on loving others.  And yeah, I can come home after a long tiring day and sit on my couch and not move for a couple hours and then I can go to sleep, that is for sure a gift.  So hopefully someone reading this can relate.  Whatever you're waiting on, He feels you and knows exactly what you're going through but He knows you have to grow before he can give it to you, or maybe he's just got something totally different and way more awesome in mind.  It's exciting right?          

Jesus, make me more like this...

And help me to remember this...

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding:
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Romans 15:13

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.