colossians

I recently finished a girl's bible study on the book of colossians. I adore the woman that has been leading the bible study, God uses her to teach me things that make me smile because it's something I so needed to hear THAT day. The last night was over colossians 3 and 4 which is a lot of goodness, but the beginning says we must set our hearts on things above, and put to death the things that we used to hold close- 'sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed'. When you put it that way, I want to put to death those things too! They sound pretty yucky but obviously can have quite the appeal or else I wouldn't be needing to put anything to death. He goes on to list some more things- 'anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language'.

The one that got me most was slander. Making a damaging/ malicious statement against someone. I love ephesians 4:29 which says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." But do I do this? Nope! I should only be speaking of others in a way that builds them up, choosing NOT to say anything that will hurt their reputation. Whether that's a mean resident/attending in the hospital or a friend that has hurt my feelings or a complete stranger that may have done something that I could make fun of... we've all heard it best said- if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all! One point that really got me, who are the people in my life that I should only talk to God about? I have a great Christian girlfriend and I find myself talking to her about things or people I have struggles with, and I use the excuse that I am looking for advice when deep down I'm just wanting to vent. I got to learn my lesson with this just a few days after the bible study. And it ended in someone getting their feelings hurt and me feeling just awful about it. When if I would have remembered ephesians 4:29 and remembered that I should only go to God when I have frustrations with another person, I would have not hurt a really great friend. I should never make someone pay for the sins they committed against me. Whether that be me going and talking to someone else about them, or refusing to forgive them, or giving them the cold shoulder, etc... I must remember that God never made me pay for the sins I committed, instead he paid them for me.

Another point made was there are 2 ways to live the Christian life. One is defeated- giving in to a certain sin because you believe it is just too hard to give up. And second is victorious- knowing at every decision point he can enable us not to sin! How great is that? Not that we won't sin, because we sure still do. But we do have the power deep within, Christ's power, to say no to the temptation. We're still human so the flesh will always be trying to drag us in the opposite direction. I can think of many times in the past week where I've been at the decision point to not say something hurtful to someone's character. Just at dinner tonight I can think of several instances! I have the voice saying in my head, ehhhh you could probably just keep this one to yourself! Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. I need the strength in those moments to depend on the Holy Spirit to empower me not to take the bait and sin.

vs 12-14

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with

compassion (deep awareness of other's needs),

kindness (actively caring for others, not looking for us to be cared for),

humility (knowing we're in the same spot as everyone else, I am no better than them),

gentleness and patience (not expecting others to be sanctified at the speed I think they should be).

¹³Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I haven't posted in awhile, life changed pretty drastically three weeks ago when I started surgery. Went from 5 hour days to 13 hour days. Went from working one weekend on psych for an average of 4 hours, to being on 24 hour call every 4th day. So I've already done 5 days of 6am-6am, only one more to go, woo! So yeah, surgery has been quite the time commitment! I was worried about being miserable, but I've kinda liked it! I've spent most of my time so far on Trauma, where we wait around for trauma alerts to come in. This is anything from a wreck to a gunshot wound to a fall that is critical enough that it deserves a lot of attention. When you are a trauma alert, either EMS or an ambulance brings you to the hospital. They roll you in and you get moved to the trauma bay bed. Immediately all your clothes are cut off and about 10 people stand around you (with more watching), poking you to see where you hurt, asking you questions (if you can answer them), sticking you with needles, yelling things to each other- 'breath sounds clear and equal! pelvis stable! C spine clear!' Then if you are stable they roll you off the CT and Xray too if you need it. If you're not stable you might have to be taken back to emergency surgery. Then from there, broken bones are fixed, lacerations are sutured, internal injuries are monitored to make sure they don't worsen... It's not a place anyone wants to end up. I mean, you'll get good care. But you never want to have to be there. I've made a mental list of things I should NEVER DO that I might avoid ever being a trauma alert. They include

#1- going seat belt-less. The majority of the people we see are unrestrained drivers or passengers, sometimes ejected sometimes not. And probably the people that did wear seat belts that come in would be dead at the scene without it! It's just crazy. It's such a simple thing!! I had that drilled into my brain as a kid, so it's never been a problem for me. I can remember my sister bursting into tears when she was little because my mother had started backing out of the driveway and she didn't have her seat belt on yet.

#2- ride a motorcycle. These things are death machines, people. Don't do it! ATVs also very bad news.

#3- hang out with the wrong crowd- gunshot wounds and stab wounds galore.

#4- go to a gas station at night- there have been several gas stations that have been robbed lately. Also good rule of thumb, don't go anywhere at any time of the day near USA hospital.

#5- dont be drunk and do stupid things. Driving for starters, like this one dude that was drunk and drove off a bridge. Or think that you are coordinated enough to stand on something high off the ground. You aren't, you're gonna fall off, trust me. Drugs go in this category too. There's a terribly sick patient who got hit by a car who probably had drugs on board.

#6- don't breed evil. I saw a woman who had 2 huge slashes on her face that were bleeding a lot. Why? Her daughter cut her. Frightening...

#7- for the love of all things good and pure, definitely don't combine any of these things!! That's even more recipe for disaster!

It's sad. A lot of these people won't ever be normal again. There's many of them that have limited to no brain function, living off machines. It's scary how in a second your life and everyone around you's life can change so drastically. And it can happen to anyone... so be careful out there! And there's exceptions to the rules. The only pediatric trauma alert we had was a boy who had gotten hit by a car. Even though he wasn't able to talk after first coming in, I got pretty attached to him in the 3 hours I was there. Made me remember how much cooler kids are than adults. I went to go visit him last week at the children's hospital and thankfully he's doing a lot better so hopefully he'll be ok.

I still have 5 more weeks of surgery, but I think I'm gonna make it without losing my mind or becoming too depressed.